I almost wish I hadn't told him my dog died or wouldn't have been stupid enough to question why he was acting a certain way because it pushed him over the edge. I know how hard it was to be around a parent with bipolar. New Member. Call your Mom, do something nice for just for the hell of it, distract yourself for the time being to give yourself a little bit of time to let painful emotions settle like a snowglobe that is done being shaken. I didn't even know human beings could be like that. If people can't quit talking about her, move on from them too. I hope I don't seem to be impatient with you. I relate to your post in the way that I am/was that exboyfriend. He even brought up being excited about our future together past college. I think you have to be prepared for the possibility that he really doesn't want to get back together. My social support is limited. Posts : 8. If you cheat on me or flush your meds I'm done. I felt very hurt that she had gone from saying I love you to no remorse about making me homeless. It's hard being like this, dealing with emotions. Well, that's not unusual! BREAKUPS AND ARIES Been dumped by an Aries? Bipolar disorder is a chronic psychiatric mood disorder characterized by periods of depression alternating with manic episodes. She also revealed her promiscuous past and said we would break up if I didn’t go travelling with her for a year. It's hard growing up, it's hard figuring stuff out, it's hard finding the one to be with. :(. We are a community here not just a help page. I am new here and seeking guidance. With the quickest temper in the Zodiac, Aries is probably the easiest sign to break up with. DON't answer her calls,texts, emails, letters, or knocks at the door. But if the break up … When you’re in a loving relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder, it’s common to feel frustrated and unappreciated at times. Bipolar people might break up with their partners during mania or hypomania because of the symptoms(Bipolar disorder - Symptoms and causes) in such case they will come back to patch up for sure. So I don't want to lay the "maybe it's just young love thing" on you and tell you that maybe it's not to be. He wrote me these very touching emails basically begging to get back together. We just click. She was incapable of giving physical intimacy and caring about my feelings. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. The sudden loss of a job can be a trigger for bipolar depression, as can ongoing financial stress. I can't tell you anything. I find it hurtful that she had brought a date so soon after the breakup when I would be moving out in 2 weeks. You cannot fix her, you cannot make everything better, no one can. Please don't weep over how you are not being supportive enough of someone who is treating you badly. However, relationship breakups can be especially difficult for people with bipolar disorder, not just because of the emotional instability that ensues, but also because of the change in routine, stress, and loss that can trigger either mania or depression. The are extremely self focused regardless of anything; near term personal gratification is a hallmark. Frantic I pushed him to explain to me what was going on (again, mistake) and he only reinforced that he was done with me and that this was "toxic". However, just within his first week back at college this semester, something changed. Now my ex won't speak to me. You also might keep in mind that this guy could have a personality disorder. Bipolar Disorder. I appreciate it. When your mood shifts to mania or hypomania (less extreme than mania), you may feel euphoric, full of energy or unusually irritable. Getting dumped is really painful. Thank you so much. We still spent a lot of time together and I could calm him down pretty well like usual, laughed, had great conversations, etc. I am lucky that at least I broke it off. During this time we started to talk more on and off and I was thrilled to hear when he'd be making some progress. It may help to limit your access to specific accounts and credit cards during manic or hypomanic episodes, as many people overspend during these periods. I think he will probably change his mind about wanting to date you, so in that sense, you can hold onto the rope. Join mental health advocates, Shaley Hoogendoorn and Julie Kraft, as they passionately share their bipolar journeys. She’s behaving exactly as she was when we first dated. A week later she is online dating and brings a guy round to the house. It was back and forth, on & off for a while. I value your perspective. I too ignored all the red flags out of desperation. After just a couple months I knew I wasn't doing well in school and so I went back to Chicago where he was. I keep thinking “how she could do this to me”. 5 months later and she turned into a completely different person. If you’re dating an Aries, be prepared for a lot of cut and thrust and the occasional bout of head butting. Hey, buddy. I was thrilled to be back with him and he told me he couldn't believe how he had treated me the summer before when he was dealing with his health issues. Incremental withdrawal of support: Yet another way guys deal with breakups is by slowly cutting off emotional support. Be patient with finding a relationship. Anyways, we reconnected for the first time this summer (in person) and immediately recognized that the amount we care for each other just is not going to go away. They lack the empathy to know or care how their actions impact the emotions of others. I try to not feel this way. It cannot be; because they have brains that are chemically skewed. Still, at one point when he started new meds things got much worse temporarily and I was receiving phone calls in the middle of the night asking me to convince him that there were not burglars in his house. Unfiltered & authentic - a real-life glimpse of bipolar disorder. However, his decision to cut off all communication completely (for what he says will be a year) and refusal to acknowledge me or let me say anything in response makes this difficult to let him know. This sounds cheesy but I love him incredibly deeply and will stand by his side through just about anything that he faces with this. Don't and I mean DON't contact her. were treated like crap. You need to take several steps back and examine why you felt the need to stay with someone who was so ill. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. You're right. My fear is that in contacting him to say anything along these lines, based on his current state (though I still am not sure exactly what it is), he may react even more negatively. The end of a relationship often ushers in dark feelings like abandonment, guilt, and rejection. How far does your understanding go? They then had sex at night in the room next to mine. This is a conscious choice on the part of the guy and is designed to act as an emotional shield. It doesn’t help that she has turned her friends and family against me by making me look like the obsessive ex. Agreeing to be careful, we decided to proceed forward acknowledging how much we loved each other and hoping we'd be able to officially date again once we got back to school. I have 7 days of this hellish experience to get through. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, This blog helped me forgive the nastiness I experienced in a bipolar relationship. Pity or curiosity do not lead to a positive relationship. Thank you for saying this. At age 29, I was diagnosed as bi-polar. but honey , I'm bipolar .. You need to understand !". Let yourself feel the emotions There's no coming back from those. It will get better with time and once I'm out the house. When a Bipolar Heart Breaks . I'm sorry to hear about your personal difficulties and hope that there might be some alleviation for you as well. Be there for him. If you love him so much, fuck him. IT’s a long distance relationship and they don’t last long. Nonetheless, I feel hurt, betrayed, used, alone and sad. I still struggle to believe how she could be so hurtful and how much she lied to me. Most people think the main reason for that gnawing pain is because you lost “the love of your life." A safe haven for bipolar related issues. I really think that you have to take care of yourself and put yourself first. However he is not going to suddenly get better, so this pattern will continue. But (in particular borderlines) they keep people on lists, a good list and a bad list. I realize later she was the love of my life, but I can't get that back now. It's still raw at the moment and will be for some time. Knowing how they are different can help you plan the right approach. Classic avoidant. Sometimes people don't have the best intentions either, because they are impulsively reacting to the loss. I want him to know that I am willing to try to learn about what's going on and remain a positive support for him through everything. My ex-boyfriend always said I couldn't handle my emotions, and maybe sometimes that's true. I naturally poised myself as the next Prime Minister of Canada and my document was brilliant in my mind. Your point that it might be much easier for someone with bipolar disorder to tell others they want them out of their life really resonates with me. Another reason sudden breakups are so shocking – especially if your boyfriend cheated and lied to you – is the trust that was broken. They suffer depression and will push people away during that time. It is about his own mind. It is usually manageable with a correct diagnosis and suitable treatment and support. I'm bipolar. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. outofthefog.net. She was vague about past relationships, vague about why she liked me, didn't like french kissing, wanted to sleep in seperate beds, never gave hugs, didn't want to label us, didn't say I love you until months in, had a promiscous past. but honey , I'm bipolar .. You need to understand !" How you treat them is never ever a fair deal. I have to be educated. This is a horrible, devastating illness. Cookies help us deliver our Services. No one with a heart can deny that. Yup, I told my SO of 8 years in no uncertain terms. We argued about it and she tried to make me homeless. I almost always usually regret it, as well as the fights I pick with my boyfriend. When I'm out of this toxic situation I will be able to look back at it as more of a learning experience. Then depression brings the pantomime to a standstill. Decisions that are made suddenly are revoked suddenly. However, half way through the semester I found out that he had to take a medical leave and returned home for the rest of the year. When I realized that a person with bipolar disorder is unable to even feel the pain they cause until they reach some level of normality, it allowed me to sympathize with the mental illness. And I also don't want to lose the person I love most in the world. Be real, have fun with him, tell him to balls up. Sure she is happy now, of course, she is happy now - she is in that bipolar high. This can make people behave quite strangely, like breaking into their exes property, destroying their belongings, or coming up to them uninvited in the street. Although she still robbed me off everything. hugs. Maybe he'll figure it out, maybe he won't. It cannot be; because they have brains that are chemically skewed. I spent 5 months in a relationship with a bipolar girl. Or maybe I'm way off base and this has nothing to do with his disorder and "forever is forever", this time? That fear is very difficult to face because my goal was to be a positive presence. I'll survive. He was anxious, things were off, and I knew something was up. It doesn't matter what the new "man" has or the new men that will follow him. There is a very large online support forum for people with SOs who have personality disorders. I just keep telling myself that she's crazy and that's all there is to it. went through a bad break up last year that was my decision. I’m a sensitive person. Unloving, cold, distant and very selfish. Support Forums > Bipolar Disorder New Topic Reply Previous Thread | Next Thread Dakato. How she was committed, really liked me, that she hadn’t been with too many guys, didn’t have problems with physical intimacy and didn’t mind that I wasn’t a traveller. We've now been together for a total of 22 years. One other thing that is relevant to you is their inability to create connected relationships. Thanks for taking the time to post. Bipolar disorder causes shifts in a person's mood and energy levels. What is happening to your ex right now has nothing to do with you. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months. Being in a relationship where one or both partners have bipolar disorder is not easy. You, however don't have it. I'm a little bit older than you(?) I want to take care of myself and am recognizing my need to be independent in spite of this, but I'm hoping this does not mean that I will forever have to be apart from him. Just be yourself, being to good to him is giving him stress. When he suddenly broke up with me (not in the nicest way) during what seemed a serious bout of depression of his, things quickly started to worsen for him psychologically at an escalated rate. Feel hurt, used, betrayed and alone by the whole experience. Press J to jump to the feed. (Again, I came here because I'm trying to better learn how to manage that/make that a reality). Clearly your boyfriend loves you and I hope that reminder offers you some encouragement. He told me he couldn't believe he had "thrown away the person he loves most in this world" and wanted to do everything he could to make sure he didn't hurt me that way ever again due to his mind. I broke it off because I could see the relationship wasn’t going anyway. I am sure he loves you but does not know how to handle his feelings. Decide if you are in it for the longhaul, decide if you can do it. After a month he ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 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